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ACheshireCat
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Name: Megan
Location: St. Louis, Missouri, United States
Birthday: 2/2/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: Kermit the frog. He gets me sexually excited.
Expertise: Fire. Fire good. Megan use fire to fix Lafayette.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  incubunni
Member Since:
3/3/2005
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| Mmmm. Banana fight with Jessie. (And that filthy streetwalker got to the shower first. Sonuvabitch.)
Have huge clumps of mushy banana stuck in/on hair, face, clothes, any available skin. Possibly some in left eye.
Would not recommend wanging friend over the head with a banana while she has her head stuffed into her candy bag...she might steal it from you and smash it over your head. Situation rapidly deteriorated from there, as it turned into a free-for-all banana-flinging-smashing-smackdown girl fight.
I thought about walking home to shower, as Jessie is taking her sweet time, but I didn't think it would be safe. No doubt I'd get chased home by birds, squirrels, and other woodland creatures.
Oh, gawd. There's some in my ear.
Sonuvabitch. | | |
| What the hell is this? What happened to all my text editing options? Pah! Bullshit in the first degree.
I went on a field trip Friday. It was fun. It got me out of class, though perhaps not as much as I would have liked to miss. (And walking amazingly slow back to 6th hour wasn't as genius of a plan as I originally thought.) However, I do have a complaint against the Art Museum.
Perhaps it's simply because I was lacking in time, but I saw tons of breast-eses and a one HUGE freaking vagina, (puzzled as to the nature of it, is one that large really necessary? Could have stuffed a watermelon in there if one was so inclined...aha! Must have been recreation of the village whore. No tread left on the tires; equivalent of throwing a hotdog down a hallway. Ha.) but not one work of art featuring male nudity. No man nipple, no amusingly small packages.
The Art Museum has failed me. Perhaps I should submit one of my Viagra Man doodles I did for Jessie to balance things out. (There was a whole series of 'em.
It's, uh, best if you don't ask why.)
At my lame and pitiful job, between trying to hang myself in the belt section and suppressing the urge to slaughter all customers, I had a rather strange experience. I was hanging up ties when the entire rack started to move. Thinking it was seconds away from toppling onto some unfortunate midget, I grabbed onto it, only to have a small child pop out and scream, "SURPRISE!"
Holy freaking hell. I think my water just broke.
I once saw a little kid licking (yes, licking) one of the mirrors there. God only knows where that kid has been. I'm not cleanin' that shit up.
This is why I advocate child ass-kicking. That and so much more.
Very exciting news. Jordan confirmed existence of midget pornos. Jessie shall get her 18th birthday present as promised.
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| Hello, Kinky!
I've got some interesting guestbook entries. Perhaps a devious yet misguided Humberto? (You sly devil, you)
The briefest update:
I have job. TJ Maxx. Visit me if able. No discount for you.
Marquette good. Many attractive blondes. (The man-hungry vixen in me is pleased.)
Computer still busted. Sadness.
True, I do have a job now, one that I hate very much. Working is overrated; I'd rather whore myself out to a bunch of lonely nerds. Bet I'd get paid better. However, it does afford me other benefits, such as the stories of my misfourtunes. It's always funnier when it's someone else, right?
I really think I helped a transvestite when I was working the jewelry counter last week. She...he...whatever...had an adam's apple and wore a mini skirt. It was my first experience with a transvestite. I'll treasure it forever. This was better than the time Geoffrey the Giraffe called me on my birthday.
Oh, and before I forget, Ana's acid trip graphic design project is quite possibly the greatest creation to ever grace mankind. (It gets me sexually excited *kinky purr*) Ana's a pimp.
^ I'd hit that. Twice. | | |
| My goodness. How I do miss having a functioning computer. Alas, now it is truly fried, and I write this entry at Jessie's house.
Oh, the places I've been. The hippies I've seen. The near death experiences I've had.
Eh. Forget it. Let's skip right to the "good stuff", shall we? First of all, I have news. As of about a week ago, I no longer attend Lafayette.
FUCK YEAH!
*ahem* I mean....no, I mean fuck yes.
I passed my driver's test and am now a road raging nutjob with a crappy car and nothing to lose.
Well, not really. I do have a permit, though! Can't say I'm much of a driver. I have a tendency to space off, or take time to admire the nearby animals. (OMG, a duck! SWEET!)
Damn women drivers. Jebus. I pity da fool that is in front of/behind me/within a five mile driving radius when I finally do get my license. The idiots on bikes, not as much. Ten points if you can get him to swerve off the road. Fifty if he throws his water bottle at you in anger of your asanine driving. Lawsuit if you hit him. Who's up for a round?
Well, off to take a shower. Was at the river today and now I have sand in the most uncomfortable places. | | |
| Freedom!
School's out for summer, and already I have no idea what to do with myself. I'm just not used to having so much free time.
Seems my ass and the couch are going to spend a lot of time getting to know eachother again this summer.
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